Do you ever look back over your year and feel a strange mix of pride and exhaustion? Achievements on the one hand… and struggles you’d rather not talk about on the other? Most of us carry both. But it’s usually only acceptable to show the positive.
The truth is this: achievement and struggle often overlap — and admitting that doesn’t make you weak. It makes you honest.
Earlier this year, I felt overwhelmed in ways I couldn’t explain. Outwardly, everything looked like progress, but privately it felt like climbing a cliff with my fingertips. I decided to be assessed for ADHD, even though I wasn’t sure and honestly a little scared. But when I was diagnosed, so much began to make sense.
To go through the process, I had to be honest. I couldn’t minimise my feelings or talk myself out of my own experience. And that honesty was the beginning of everything shifting.
Honesty is not defeat — it’s clarity
Telling the truth to yourself isn’t about focusing on the negative. It’s about stepping back and seeing your life and environment as they really are.
❗No more pretending you’re fine.
❗No more rushing past your feelings to keep the pace.
❗No more holding yourself to impossible standards.
❗No more excusing the behaviour of others.
Acceptance isn’t capitulation. It’s simply acknowledging where you are, without judgement. This is not about doing — it’s about being. And that creates space for a different kind of change: slower, deeper, more sustainable.
This isn’t easy, especially in midlife, when you’ve built an identity around being capable, resilient, productive, the one who “keeps going”.
This emotional work is powerful and productive — and essential for leaders navigating the complexities of the 21st century. In his bestselling book Leader as Healer, Nicholas Janni shows how embracing your emotions expands your bandwidth and effectiveness as a leader. By rebalancing your thinking, emotional and physical self, you increase your capacity to meet challenges with clarity rather than reactivity.
When you stop avoiding or explaining away your reality, your nervous system softens. Your perspective widens. You stop reacting automatically and start consciously choosing. That’s when a new vision of the future becomes possible.
Self Leadership in Action
Ask yourself, gently:
What truth about myself have I been avoiding?
What truth about my environment or situation am I not seeing clearly?
What happens if I meet these responses with compassion instead of judgement?
That’s where your next chapter starts.
Not with striving.
Not with perfection.
But with honesty.
The radical power of saying: This is where I really am… and that’s okay.
My Spiral Approach offers a deeper way of working that supports honest reflection, aligned action and sustainable change. You can find out more here – Approach.
