The Problem With Goals
The problem with goals, when you are seeking real change and transformation, is that they are rooted in what is already known rather than what is possible.
They are so often shaped by what others are doing, by comparison, by “should”, and by old versions of yourself that once wanted very different things.
We can end up holding on so tightly to goals that once mattered deeply but no longer reflect who you are now or who you are becoming. And sometimes, more quietly and more painfully, we discover that the goals we have been chasing were never truly ours to begin with.
In that sense, saying no to goals and allowing yourself to let go can be a pivotal moment in any real desire for change. Even if you do not yet know what you are saying yes to.
Why January Makes It Worse
And in January, especially if you are unhappy, exhausted, overwhelmed, or quietly aware that you are just surviving, new goals can feel deeply seductive.
They offer a sense of order.
A sense of control.
Something for the analytical mind to hold onto when everything else feels uncertain.
But when your goals are not truly aligned, they can have a very different effect on your nervous system. What feels like clarity to the mind can feel like pressure, contraction, and unease in your body.
When Focus Becomes Narrow
Don’t get me wrong. Goal setting has its place. But research from Harvard Business School has also shown that goals can inhibit learning, narrow our focus, and reduce intrinsic motivation.
In other words, they can quietly limit our capacity to explore, adapt, and discover what might actually be possible. Seeking real change and new possibilities requires something very different.
It asks for openness.
For curiosity.
For a deeper understanding of what you truly want.
Not what you think you should want.
When your focus becomes narrow, and the end destination does not resonate with a deeper knowing that you want something different, a quiet dissonance begins to build. Over time, that dissonance asks you to contort yourself out of shape.
For many, this slowly becomes the norm.
But this is not really living.
It is surviving.
From the outside, others may see you as successful. But it is not always worth what it is costing you inside.
The Power of Intentions
Intentions, however, are an inner reminder of where you are headed,
even when your path veers off course.
They offer a bigger picture. They quietly change the way you think, feel and behave, and the way your body responds. Intentions allow for openness, exploration and new possibilities.
Self Leadership in Action
If your intention this year is to create positive change in your life, take a moment to reflect:
- What goals are you holding onto that no longer feel right?
- Where are comparisons shaping how you see your future?
- How do you feel about stepping into uncertainty?
No Goals January. The Quiet Rebellion.
A midlife movement for leaders who are done contorting themselves to fit old rules. Ready to step out of survival mode and into deep, meaningful transformation through curiosity, aliveness and inner authority.
My Spiral Approach offers a deeper way of working that supports honest reflection, aligned action and sustainable change. You can find out more here – Approach.
